My Own Birth #5

When I got pregnant for my fifth child I had already completed my courses and was a certified doula. I was very excited about having a VBAC and insisted I would get one. I knew the statistics. I wanted a homebirth, but my husband was no long comfortable with that idea because of birth #2 and #4. He was worried about retained placenta again and malpresentation. He was worried about uterine rupture as well. So we decided that as long as they would allow VBAC I'd continue with my hospital midwives. It was during this time that I began to call them "medwives" more than "midwives."

I was put on partial bedrest from 33 weeks until 37 weeks due to contractions. They were worried that they would dialate me further.

On Oct 2nd.. my daughters 5th birthday... my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart, lasting 60+ seconds. I had to concentrate through them and was doing everything I could to promote labor. I planned to stay home as long as I possibly could. Mom came and got the older 4 children and I moved our mattress to the living room. I laid on the mattress watching FRIENDS and concentrating through contractions. By about 4 am I was exhausted and decided to go in. We arrived and I was dialated to a stretchy 4!! I was excited and disappointed, but we were all sure that this was it.

Hours and hours of laboring on a birth ball, pacing the hallways, etc. to no avail. I was tired and discouraged. Of course they couldn't do pitocin since I was doing a VBAC and while he offered to break my water I said no thanks... not yet. They checked me again and the impossible happened... I had gone from a stretchy 4 to barely a 1!!! I had heard of that happening, but was skeptical of it and didn't believe it was really possible. I was shocked and discouraged. My contrax were letting up and we went home. Needless to say I was a bit grumpy. Mom kept the kids for me a little longer so I could rest.

At my next check up we discovered that the baby was sideways... not full transverse, but her head was pointing towards my hip rather than my cervix. This is why no matter what I did that day my labor didn't progress and essentially stopped. They told me that it didn't look like I would be able to VBAC after all. I broke down and cried.

A c/s was scheduled for Oct 23rd. I did everything I could to try to get the baby in a different position... I researched and found things to try, positions to get in... everything. Nothing worked. So I threw myself into getting the best possible C/S that my hospital would allow. I told EVERYONE what I wanted. The Drs, the nurses, the anesthesiologist.... every one knew exactly what I wanted and said they'd do what they could do.

We arrived early on Oct 23rd. Mom came with us even though she knew she couldn't be present at the birth. The cesarean was quick again... Katie was born w/in 15 minutes and they brought her up to my head where I could touch and kiss her. Then they brought her to the warmer and out to the nursery while they finished the cesarean. Matt went with her as he did with all of them. I had requested to be allowed to stay awak while they were sewing me up... and they did. I had the best anesthesiologist this time. He did everythign I wanted and made sure that the Dr's and nurses did too. He made sure I got to touch Katie and see her before they wisked her away, he made sure to keep me awake and helped me w/ the shakes and nausea that is normal during a cesarean. I was so thankful for that because I was able to hold and nurse Katie as soon as I was in the little recovery room before being moved to the postpartum room.

I was very disappointed that I couldn't VBAC and never got to experience natural childbirth. I will never know what it's like to go start to finish completely natural and the way God intended it to be. I am thankful to have 5 healthy children in spite of my naivety with the first 3 and unability to have my last 2 in a way that I wanted and knew would be best. My life is now dedicated to raising them in the best way possible and to helping other women be informed to make good birthing choices.