Things coming to the surface

I started my midwifery studies and as I read through the materials and realize over and over how naive I was I begin to question my abilities. I begin to question myself as a mother. I begin to question my births... particularily my last birth. I begin to wonder if I'm only being a hypocrite now by advocating for homebirths when all my births were medical.

I love what I'm learning. I'm itching to get to a birth and experience these things that I'm studying first hand. None of it feels overwhelming and burdensome. I think I'm doing what I'm meant to do... but I'm doubting myself at the same time.